In our prayer of confession we prayed: "It is easy for us to point our finger at Thomas who was honest about his fears. He had seen so much healing and hope. But those hopes seemed dashed when Jesus died. Even the news of the Resurrection did not completely lift the darkness from his life. Jesus said to him, just as he says to us, 'Peace, be still. Do not doubt but believe!' Lord, forgive our unbelief! Forgive the many times when we think and act in ways which are hurtful and mean. Heal our wounds." When we are honest with ourselves we can relate to Thomas' story at a number of levels. There is a bit of jealousy for missing out on that first meeting with Jesus after the resurrection. As his friends huddle in the upper room fearing for their lives, they get to meet Jesus. A bit of fancy on my part speculates where Thomas was. Was he out getting needed supplies while his friends stayed safely behind, or perhaps even out continuing the work of Christ. Whatever he was out doing, he comes back only to find out he had missed out on seeing Jesus. Which one of us would not, a bit petulantly, mutter something like Thomas did after his friends tell him they've seen the Lord – sure, that's what you say, but unless I see it for myself I won't believe.

And then, which one of us would not want to see Jesus face to face, be in his presence like those disciples had been. Thomas just wanted that experience … and so do we. Even though the disciples had heard the resurrection stories from Mary and the other women they weren't sure what was happening. Their world had been shattered and they had nothing familiar to hold on to. The world they faced seemed full of uncertainties. What would it mean going forward that they were the followers of Jesus in such a world. We know those times. It is easy to doubt when we remember that today is Holocaust Memorial Day. A day set to honor the memories of the six million Jews who were exterminated by the Nazis, as well as three or four million more people who were considered undesirable – gays, Slavic people, the disabled, political dissidents, people who hid Jews, gypsies and so on. I think of the people I have been holding in prayer this week – the families of the funerals I did early this week, of a young friend going through a divorce, of another family who lost their two day old little girl. Later this week I listened to the stories of pain from people who have been excluded from the church by race, and gender and sexual orientation. Thomas is simply reminding us of what we all want and need – that personal encounter with the Risen Christ who breathes into us life and power and spirit. That encounter that allows us to keep on breathing after life's events attempt to wring us dry. It is that encounter that not only allows us to keep on breathing, but keeps us witnessing to our faith so that others can know what we know. My understanding is that the family who lost their little girl went through this experience at the hospital in such a way that all who worked with them were amazed and touched by the witness of their faith.

Again, what Thomas wants is what we all want – we want to touch Jesus, know that he is real, and that his life and example and power have some bearing on our everyday realities. I'm with Thomas when he exclaims: "Unless I see the mark of the nails in his hands, and put my finger in the mark of the nails and my hand in his side, I will not believe." Or as the words of a song that I came across in my readings this week puts it: "I need to know that God is real, I need to know that Christ can feel, the need to touch and love and heal the world including me." (link)

Yes, we want to, need to know that God is real … we need to encounter the risen Christ! It is in that encounter that we will find the healing our souls long for, the courage to face our fears, and the presence that will walk with us when we face life's realities. I imagine the encounter in the description that is found in C.S. Lewis' Narnia chronicles. In the book The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe, Aslan the Lion who is the Christ figure takes a deep breath and breathes onto the land of Narnia that has been frozen cold by the White Witch. As he does, the brooks begin to babble, the snow melts and a golden warmth spreads throughout the land … the creatures turned to stone by the witch thaw out and the land is glad once again. That is what the encounter with the Risen Christ does to us. As our hymn said: "Jesus' touch can call us back to life again."

This encounter with the risen Christ is not something we can keep hidden in the upper rooms of our hearts. The disciples could not stay locked in the Upper Room. When they met the risen Christ, knew for themselves they are then sent out. Jesus commissions them to go – Matthew records this charge as the Great Commission: go into all the world and made disciples of all nations … and, lo I will be with you till the end of the age. John's gospel this morning commissions the disciples by saying: "Peace be with you, as my Father has sent me, so I send you." It is only when we bring our encounters with Jesus into the world … into the uncertainties of life that we can fully in the presence of the risen Christ. We are the ones that have had the breath of Jesus blow across us and been commissioned to go to all the world. It is when we go out and reach out and touch and heal in the name of Christ that we ourselves are brought back to life. This past week I saw a picture of the little girl that touched all of our lives this past summer when we worked in Kentucky. Her face was part of a photo documentary that someone had done for the Appalachia Service project – there was Abby, clinging to her mother's legs on their front porch, her eyes hauntingly beautiful and sad. In her face one sees why we go out to be the presence of Christ … in her face we experience the presence of Christ. When you truly want to know that Christ is alive and has defeated the powers of sin and death … when you truly want to know then you have to go out and take this commissioning to heart, take it seriously and leave the safety of the Upper Room. In the commissioning we become the body of Christ … broken for the world, poured out for its healing. It is when see the face of Christ in the Abby's of the world that we get to truly touch the risen Christ and experience what Thomas did – we touch the wounds of Christ and are healed and forgiven. And that is the love that saves us.

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