In today's computer language a PDA is something many carry around to organize their lives. A palm held, digital assistant. But in my days as a camp counselor in the Western Pennsylvania Annual Conference a PDA meant something far different. As we worked at keeping our charges behavior in line, particularly during the senior high camps; we were to watch the campers for inappropriate PDAs … no public displays of affection allowed in the United Methodist Youth camps!

The gospel text today, contains a PDA so tough for the early church writers to deal with that by the time it got to the gospel of John, they had softened the story. All four of the gospels record this event in some form or another. In Matthew and Mark it is an anonymous woman who anoints Jesus on the head, in Luke it is an anonymous woman who weeps over Jesus and waters his feet with her tears and wipes the ointment in with her hair. In Matthew and Mark it is the disciples who protest the woman's actions. The Pharisees in Luke denounce Jesus for allowing a woman of ill-repute to approach him, let alone touch him. The gospel of John place the story in the home of trusted friends, Mary and Martha and Lazarus. And it is Mary of Bethany who anoints him … a trusted friend reaches out in a gesture of deep intimacy and lavish love.

In the midst of everything else today's gospel lesson is about, there is the often overlooked gift of relationship. Here is the family closely associated with Jesus through his life … a family so closely bound in friendship with him, that they could even at times call Jesus to task. Remember Martha's rebuke when Jesus finally arrives after the death of Lazarus: "Lord, if only you had been here!" In the glimpses the gospels give us we find displayed the gift of spiritual friendship, the fifth mark of discipleship we explore today.

As United Methodists we have inherited a model for developing spiritual friendships. The founder of Methodism knew that people needed more than what the hour of Sunday morning worship could provide and so John Wesley organized his followers into small groups. Everyone in the congregation was expected to attend their class meeting weekly. One of the most profound questions asked at these meetings was this: "How is it with your soul?" These groups held each other accountable, supported one another and gave strength for what ever was occurring in the lives of the class members. At their best the Wesleyan model of the Class Meeting provided the mark of discipleship that Foss describes in Power Surge: "We demonstrate real care for each other when we ask how things are going in our practice of the marks of discipleship?not as a way of keeping tabs on one another, but as a method of genuine support and encouragement. We learn from each other's experience. We walk with each other through the inevitable dry places and 'dark nights of the soul.'" (Power Surge page 102)

In my sermon research this week, I came across two practices from different Christian traditions that demonstrate this practice of spiritual relationships. One is a membership covenant from Christ Fellowship of Kansas City. Their membership agreement calls congregants to mutual accountability. Here are some of the statements from their agreement called "The Fellowship of the Spirit":

As a follower of Jesus Christ, I joyfully and thoughtfully enter into a bond of mutual edification, fellowship, and accountability with the other members of this body. I have repented of my sin, trusted in Christ as my Savior and Lord, and been baptized as a true believer. I will faithfully participate with this church in worship, prayer, study, fellowship and the ordinances of baptism and communion. I will use my spiritual gifts for the common good. Through my involvement, and even sacrifice, I will seek to illustrate to my family and a watching world the immense significance of a life in the body of Christ … I will watch over the other members in love as they watch over me. I will remember them in prayer, help them in sickness and distress, promote their spiritual growth, restrain them from sin, and stir them up to love and good deeds." (Copyright ? 2003 Christ Fellowship of Kansas City)

Another example of practicing the discipleship of developing spiritual relationships comes from the Orthodox tradition. In an article called "Ancient Faith, Modern Life," Frederica Matthewes-Green writes: "I had to apologize to someone Sunday night. In fact, I had to apologize to about a hundred people--one at a time, face to face. It was great." Matthewes-Green is speaking of the Orthodox tradition during Lent when each member of the congregation apologizes to each other … one by one. She describes the Rite of Forgiveness held about seven weeks before Easter:

… At last we reach the Rite of Forgiveness. As vespers come to a close, parishioners form a large circle. Nearest the altar the two ends overlap, as a deacon turns to face the priest. The priest bows to the ground, then stands to say, "Forgive me, my brother, for any way I have offended you." After the deacon says "I forgive you," he bows to the ground, and asks for and receives the same forgiveness. Then the two embrace. Each of them moves to the next person in line. Over the course of an hour or so, every single person will stand face-to-face with every other person. Each will bow to the ground and ask for forgiveness; each will bestow forgiveness on the other. As my husband says, "When we do this, we do something the devil hates." Teenage brothers and sisters forgive each other. Small children solemnly tell their mothers, "I forgive you." Folks who have been arguing about the church budget for months embrace with tears. In fact, tears are the common coin of the evening. Some weep hard as they look in each face and think how they have slighted, ignored, or resented this person during the year--a person now revealed as bearing the face of Christ. Some weep as they are forgiven, over and over, in an overwhelming rush of love and acceptance. Some weep and hug so much they hold up the line. A toddler ignores the line and goes from person to person, tugging on a skirt hem or trouser leg and looking up to ask, "Forgive?" (http://www.beliefnet.com/story/14/story_1403_1.html)

We live in a world that is increasingly connected in ways we never imagined. In the 24/7 world we don't have to wait for anything. Need an x-ray read in the middle of the night in an emergency – no problem – the films can be read by a wide awake radiologist in Australia. Our world is instant. Ironically as we have become more connected, the level of disconnect is increasing. Rare are the bonds that call us to be our best and hold us accountable. What a gift?this practice of developing spiritual friendships. We see the result of the practice in this morning's gospel as Jesus and the disciples gather at the home of trusted friends. Later in John's gospel we find the promise of spiritual friendship, reminding us that this is the way Jesus intends us to be in relationship with him and each other: "I do not call you servants any longer, because the servant does not know what the master is doing; but I have called you friends, because I have made known to you everything that I have heard from my Father." (John 15:15)

My prayer for all of us this morning is that we each find a group of willing spiritual friends who will hold us accountable, keep us in the dark times of our lives, laugh with us, pray with us, and help us to see God active and present in life. Through our practice of this mark of discipleship we show the world the joy of God's love … and offer hope for the world.